Tuesday, June 22, 2010

read my latest column at the Record here.

or here:

Our children’s preferences as different as the seasons

As our family excitedly anticipates summer holidays, I wonder if the time of year we first entered the world helps to determine our future preferences. Although both my kids absolutely love summer, my oldest (who was born during a snowstorm and prefers winter) took a little longer to develop his fondness for one common activity of our warmest season.

What my kids love most about this time of year are the non-stop opportunities to be outside and especially, swimming. Both of their first summers included dipping their tiny toes into a clear, natural lake ... with polar opposite reactions. The “win-fint” who loves the winter, was distressed, while the “spr-aby” who made her entrance on the first day of spring, was delighted.

At 14, Nick swims like a fish. He loves to dip, flip, dive, spin, toss and be tossed into whatever body of water happens to be in front of him. Whether it’s a pool or lake, the temperature — though it does determine how quickly he gets in — doesn’t deter him, as he flaps around like Aquaman, completely at home in whatever wet wonderland he is plunging into at the time.
However, his first exposure to summer swimming did not at all suggest that he would appreciate it like he does now.

It was a beautiful summer day as I stood knee deep in the water, holding my six-month-old baby, playfully lowering him toward the surface. Alarmed, he frantically tucked his little legs up as far up as was physically possible, and the look on his face was one of great fear and indignation as first his toes, then feet, then knees became submerged. This wide-eyed child was clearly shocked and dismayed that his parents, whom he had grown to love and trust, would subject him to such aquatic anguish.

His reaction shouldn’t have been a surprise, given the intensity with which he hated the bath as a new baby. He would scream, thrash, and turn an angry shade of purple, even though we took great care to ensure that the water condition was suitably baby-friendly, so as not to overheat our child, or plunge him into the frigid waters of the Fisher-Price tub of torture.

Early in our March baby’s life, we discovered that when inconsolable, Elena could be immediately soothed by the bath. Each clenched, flailing limb would relax as the water surrounded her, and she’d breathe a visible and audible sigh of relief. For Elena, a bath was all it took to make everything well with the world. During her fussiest times, it was not uncommon for one of us parents to throw our arms in the air, and yell above the crying, “OK, OK, I’ll get the tub!” (I remember reading about weaning a baby off of a pacifier, but worried that I could find no information about tub dependence!)

Now at age 11, she still loves the water. She’ll swim anywhere, any time, even in cottage country in (shiver) May. Her introduction to lake water was entirely different from Nick’s. She giggled, splashed and struggled to be released from my grasp. We dipped, dunked and dallied ... and eventually, much to her dismay, departed. Her screams pierced the air as she lunged for the lake with outstretched arms while being carried away.

Like most kids, mine find many wonderful things about every Canadian season. I do find it fishy though, that the kid who was born in a snowstorm, speaks fondly and longingly about the winter during what is, without question, the most wonderful season of all ... so says the July baby.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

originally published in the Waterloo Region Record, June 2010.

If my family lived in sub-Saharan Africa, the chances are pretty good that there would be fewer of us than there are living here in Southwestern Ontario.

In fact, not only would we have fewer family members, but the family configuration would be almost unrecognizable in our society.

Because if we did live in sub-Saharan Africa, my mother would probably be raising my two children…and that’s if both were still alive, which is unlikely because, of the 13 million AIDS orphans in those countries alone, half die before the age of two.

As for me, the reason my mom would be raising my kids is that practically my entire generation in African countries like Botswana, Mozambique and Zimbabwe has died in the AIDS pandemic.

But, as luck would have it, mine are healthy and thriving Canadian children who have just about everything they could ever ask for, and most certainly, everything they “need.” Again, this is not the case for children in many African countries. Before AIDS orphans can thrive, they need to survive.

The “Grandmothers to Grandmothers” campaign involves Canadian grandmothers and “grand-others” who support the millions of African grandmothers who have watched their own children die of AIDS, and are now raising their grandchildren, many of whom are also infected.

On June 12, Grandmother groups across Canada, including Kitchener-Waterloo’s Omas Siskona (grandmothers together) and Mama KubWas, will “Stride to Turn the Tide” on HIV/AIDS in Africa. By walking, Canadian grandmothers will show solidarity with African grandmothers and raise money and awareness of their situation.

Three generations of my family will walk, and we will savour the opportunity to spend part of the day outside, together. We’ll wear our hats and sunscreen, and will worry about little else but arriving on time to a minor sporting activity later in the day.

When African grandmothers walk, it is out of the necessity to find food, water and firewood so that their families can survive. For them, walking is work, not pleasure or exercise.

But, regardless of an unfathomable discrepancy in resources, there are ways in which African grandmothers are absolutely the same as Canadian grandmothers: both are fiercely committed to doing what’s best for their grandchildren.

Both also know that in order to Turn the Tide of the HIV/AIDS pandemic in Africa, affordable antiretroviral drugs and free education for their grandchildren are needed to help break the cycle of poverty.

The walk on June 12 will also serve as a reminder of Canada’s humanitarian promise to provide affordable, generic life-saving drugs under legislation known as Canada’s Access to Medicines Regime (CAMR), which requires the passing of Bill C-393.

As well, the walk will encourage support for Education for All, which states, among other things, that education is a fundamental human right, and a means by which developing countries can achieve sustainable development and stability.

According to Stephen Lewis, the former UN Secretary-General’s Special Envoy for HIV/AIDS in Africa, and the inspiration behind the Canadian Grandmothers’ efforts, more than half a million children die of AIDS every year, “simply because the world imposes such an obscene division between rich and poor.”

I find myself struck by these poignant words which are so entirely simple and yet, inconceivably complicated.

And if you’re reading this, as I am while writing it, with a coffee in your hand and your children safe at school, you probably feel very much the same way as I do…lucky.

Walkers are invited to join the Grandmothers on Saturday, June 12 at Waterloo Park Area 1 at 9:30 a.m. Learn more about their campaign and the Stephen Lewis Foundation at www.grandmotherscampaign.org/